Something Funny Happened When We Picked Up Tong Tong and Other Musings from Christmas Day, PST

Mason breaks the ice.

Daddy cracking her up on our way back to the hotel after first meeting.

Smiling at Mason

First meal with us in Changsha.  Noodles!

• They almost gave us the wrong baby.  I know that sounds like a cliche from a bad movie, but it is true.  The "Meeting Your Baby Moment" is completely surreal and totally without romance.  You are not allowed to approach the child until your passport and other documents have been verified.  So while awaiting our approval, our guide exclaimed, "There she is!  There is your daughter!" and I'm not sure why we believed her --- Shirley had never met her before and as far as I know, hadn't even seen a picture.  But we believed her anyway, and all the time I was thinking, "Her eyebrows seem thicker than they were in the pictures.  And she is so much taller than I thought she'd be!"  Her caregivers began walking her toward us -- I think Neil was saying, "Hello, Qing Tong!" before they were stopped in their tracks.  The registration officer said, "Qing Tong?  No, that isn't Qing Tong!  Wrong baby!" and we were shuttled off to another corner of the room before the proper family caught us there.

• The first thing the orphanage staff told us is that she likes to eat a lot.  And that, as it has turned out, is a complete understatement.  She loves noodles, meat , rice, eggs, fruit, vegetables,and tries anything put in front of her without prejudice.  She is not undiscriminating (in fact today, much to Mark's delight, she sampled one of Mason's popcorn chicken pieces and she promptly spit it out and handed it to me) but it is clear that she has a broad palate.  Our guide Shirley laughed when she translated "Tong Tong''s" typical daily schedule, which includes a bottle at her 7 pm bedtime and then a "snack" when she rallies again at 9 pm.

• We learned that her nickname is Tong Tong and we call her that, even though her legal papers now say "Katie Lim Rutman."

• We experienced first hand that Neil's mantra of "preparing for the worst and hoping for the best" was the right approach for our first meeting.  She squawked  her displeasure upon first seeing us and the orphanage staff shrugged it off, saying she is afraid of strangers which we'd heard from our last report.  They said it might take at least two hours before she warmed up to us.  And we almost believed them because those first 10 minutes were rather deflating.  With a screech, she hurled the soft doll we had brought as the ultimate peace offering and sneered disdainfully at the snack cup filled with Cheerios. 

• But Mason was our hero.  Even though Neil was scrunched up as small as he could make himself and I was slithering around on my belly, it was Mason who broke the ice by gently reaching out to her with a plastic hand-clapper toy the orphanage staff had given her.  Mason cried, "She half-smiled at me!" and shortly thereafter, she was not only smiling with us, but giggling hysterically at our family's antics.  Her gleeful response was much more than I had ever anticipated on our first day together.  Tong Tong allowed me to scoop her up and we left the Registration Office without tears or squawking after a 45 minute meeting.

• We discovered that she does not like pink.  She loved the yellow balloon we blew up for her during our first meeting and she continues to clutch it -- now two days later, sticky and withered.  We tried to replace it with a hot pink one which she ceremoniously kicked off of the bed and never once looked down to watch it fall. 

• I learned that it is true -- although I cannot exactly say why -- that you can feel an incredible attachment and relationship with a little person long before you've even met and that only exponentially intensifies each minute after that first meeting.  So that when that day comes and the adoption liaison says, "Can you sign this statement that you are voluntary adopting Qing Tong and that you will never, ever abandon her or treat her differently than you would your own biological child?" I can say unequivocally and with tears in my eyes, "Yes.  Yes, of course."